Lego my Ego

I hate having this problem. But even more, I hate admitting I have it. At the same time, I am glad I can recognize it and admit it to myself. I have an ego inflation problem. I don't know if it is due to my upbringing or genetics, or just the way I am. But I sometimes get into this thing where I start to feel like I am better than others or more important than others. Like I know better than others. I start to care less about others and become more self-absorbed. It seems to happen when I am accomplishing my goals. When I am doing well.

The worst part is, I don't really know what is true. I don't know if I should say, Shame on me for thinking this way, of course I am no better than anyone else, who am I to tell people how to go about things? On the other hand, I feel like I have been blessed with a gift, an understanding of certain knowledge that I MUST MUST MUST deliver, and I have also been blessed with the talent to deliver it.

But maybe I am just being delusional?

It isn't that I think I deserve to be treated better than anyone else, but I do feel like I am wiser or something. But I feel like it is offensive for me to say this. I would never expect any better treatment than anyone else because of it. But I DO feel I need to make my own rules in life and people are just going to have to respect them if they are going to be in my life. I think one of those rules is that sometimes I need to have tons of self time. Sometimes I fall off the face of the planet. Anyone who has known me a long time has seen this. They also know that I am very much into this "ME" project. Sometimes I talk like I think I am some kind of prophet or something.

I think this is what my dad was feeling back in the day when he used to preach his new religion to people. But TELLING people they are on the wrong path and they need to follow the one he is on is not the way to go about it. What he should have done is SHOW them the path he is on and what it is done for him, and encourage others to find the path they resonate with as he does with that one. BUT I also don't think that is what he believes to be true. At least not at that time.