Back to school again after 10 years, for real this time. Seriously, I mean it! This is my ... hmmm... 4th (I think?) attempt at returning to school. All other attempts failed due to overwhelming myself or lack of funds before said funds were due 2 weeks after class began. It's funny now to look back on my journey of attempting to return to school. Let's have a look...
Backtrack 10 years. Once I turned 18, fresh out of high school, I was most definitely "ready" to go back to school. Everyone said financial aid was a breeze, so I didn't even think about worrying about that. Everyone wanted me to go to study art or advertising or fiction writing, to enhance my inborn abilities. But no, in 1998 I was fascinated with the rave scene and electronic music. I was going to Columbia to study electronic music production and no one could change my mind. I applied, got accepted, even went to the orientation. Then something happened. I don't even know what happened actually. I think I probably went to a rave, or maybe 3, and just totally forgot about it.
Then around 2001 when I was severely struggling to find work, thanks to the market crash of September 11th, it was time to give it a try again. This time though, I was charmed by the commercials for the International Academy of Merchandising and Design. My new fascination was fashion design. How I loved to coordinate odd patters and textures together and throw together strange outfits no one would dream of wearing. Yes, the fashion world was for me. I went to IAMD and they convinced me to enroll immediately, instead of waiting until the next semester. "Don't worry about saving your money, you can get financial aid. It's a breeze!" So 2 weeks later, I was in school. One teacher asked us to write a paper about our favorite designer and why. She said that if we didn't know about other designers and their work, then the fashion world is not for us. So considering I thought other fashion designers were snotty weirdos, I stopped going. I would've had to anyway because I couldn't get financial aid in time, contrary to what I was promised.
2 years later, and finally starting to grow up, I decide it's time I get serious about going to school. I thought, I am going to work full time and go back to school full time too. Not a minute of my time shall be wasted! No messing with financial aid either. I am saving the money myself and paying for it on my own. I did some research and decided on Northeastern Illinois University. I was going for my Bachelor's in business. I always liked my dad's stories about his business consulting, so I decided that is what I would do. So I began. I especially loved my linguistics class. A few weeks into the semester, tuition was due. I was too short. I didn't even think of asking for a small extension, I just gave up.
Since then, the thought of trying to go to school just scared the hell out of me. Too many "what if's." But the most terrifying what-if of all was, "What if I can't do all the HOMEWORK?" I wondered if this was actually the underlying subconscious blocker all along. When I went to study fashion, I found myself overburdened with so much homework. And all I wanted to do was go out and party. I had no idea how on Earth I would get it all done. Same story when I started at Northeastern. I made all kinds of other excuses why I quit, which also happened to be true, but my real fear was homework.
Homework was my academic downfall my entire life. I think I must have completed about 15% of homework assinments in my lifetime. I would always do it if it was a writing assignment, because I love writing. Anything else would just sit in my book bag, if it even got that far at all. It was, in truth, the REAL reason that I have a GED now instead of a high school diploma.
It has now been 6 years since I last attempted to go to school. I know this time is for real. I know because I chose a school I can easily afford on my own. I chose to go part-time. And after a decade of brooding over what I want to do with my life, I chose to go into human resources management. I want to help businesses improve by helping employees enjoy their jobs more. This combines several of the fields I wanted to go into throughout the years, including management consulting, counseling, and motivational speaking. So HRM it is! The funny thing is, now that I am an old geiser, ;) and I don't like partying anymore, all I want to do is come home and read and write stuff. So I come home now and hope for homework. HA! Me, of all people, actually WANTING to do homework. Is this for real? Am I dreaming? I guess not, because here I am right now, doing my first homework assignment.
Ciao for now, peeps! See ya on the flipside, homeslice, and all that fun punch.
I can't say that I am hoping for homework..but I can relate to the struggle of returning back to school. As I was reading your post I felt like I was reading my journey at figuring out what I want to do for the rest of my life.
ReplyDeleteThe obstacle for me was lack of determination. Ever since I graduated high school and started working a full time job I found it harder and harder to get back into the rhythm of school. I always found some excuse for not doing homework or not going to class one day, which turned to two, then three, until I just ended dropping the class. I always found something better to do.
I put myself in debt with several loans. You would think that I would have gotten the picture and got it together. I did not! The economy has only gone down the past couple of years and "not working" just has not been an option for me(as well as many people nowadays). I think there should really be something done with the funding for financial aid and the cost of education. They want us to have a college degree, but what they don't realize is that a lot of us have to work to fund our education. It seems like going to College is harder than it was 10 years ago. I wonder if the cost has anything to do with it???
Supposedly Obama is supposed to, at some point, release some program where you can get a tax write-off of up to $4,000 in tuition costs if you do a certain number of hours of community service. I think that is awesome and hopefully it will happen!
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